When walking with my 12-year-old past his school recently, he gestured to the top of the two-story building and said: “You would not believe how much stuff is on that roof!”
“Really?” I asked. “Like what?”
“Everything. Kids try and throw things up there all the time. The empty water bottles never make it, but bottles with something in them get up there with no problem.”
This led to a longer discussion not only about roof system maintenance and that kids are luddite savages, but also the more philosophical gist that resistance and adversity can take you farther. The lightest of items won’t go anywhere, but bulk it up a bit so it’s heavier and, ironically, you now can move the item farther.
Imagine an Olympic discus thrower spinning and spinning to toss a single sheet of paper. Now, put a full ream of paper in his or her hand and it will travel pretty far, like an elementary kid chucking a partially filled water bottle onto a roof.
This is true in our daily lives, as well. I’m not aware of a way to get bigger, faster and stronger if there’s no resistance pushing back on you. Adversity (and overcoming it) is good for us.
We easily recognize the notion of “resistance being good” in a physical sense. Nobody ever got buff lifting 1-pound weights, but it’s harder to appreciate “resistance being good” on an emotional level when things don’t go our way. Someone proactively goes to the gym to have adversity thrown their way and welcomes it! But we don’t like adversity so much in our businesses or personal lives let alone proactively seek it out.
But adversity comes to us all in ways that have to be carried or overcome. And how we handle those roadblocks and challenges can make us stronger for the next setback or challenge.
Of course, there are limits to this concept: Set foot in a gym for the first time in years and overdo it and you’re pulling a muscle or far worse. Lasting harm can come if the challenge is truly too great and you have no business attempting it. A company can go bankrupt; a job can go irrevocably south; employees can quit; you can burn out, etc.
All the more reason to train, practice and increase your personal and institutional resilience. Building up mental, emotional, organizational muscles can help you handle more weight if it comes.
Roger Federer, winner of 20 Grand Slam tennis titles, more than 100 career titles and more than $130 million in prize money, spoke this summer in Hanover, N.H., to Dartmouth College’s graduating class. The speech has since been viewed more than 2 million times online.
He said he trained intensely and his wins often appeared effortless. He discussed how the term “effortless,” though meant as a compliment, initially bothered him because he put in so much work to get better. He eventually came to terms with the notion that “winning effortlessly is the ultimate achievement.”
Being able to handle most anything that comes your way because you put in the time, work and effort to prepare and build up to the challenge is the hallmark of winning.
Federer stated: “When your game is clicking … winning is easy—relatively. Then, there are days when you just feel broken. Your back hurts, your knee hurts. Maybe you’re a little sick … or scared. But you still find a way to win. And those are the victories we can be most proud of because they prove you can win not just when you are at your best but especially when you aren’t. Talent has a broad definition. Most of the time, it’s not about having a gift. It’s about having grit.”
He then talked about how, despite winning 80% of his matches during his career, he only won 54% of the points.
“Even top-ranked tennis players win barely more than half the points they play,” he noted.
He concluded: “The best in the world are not the best because they win every point. It’s because they know they will lose again and again and have learned how to deal with it.”
We’re all going to lose, but we can minimize losing by building up our capabilities. And we can weather the losses by building up our resilience so we can move onto the next opportunity.
Federer wasn’t the only one to touch on this theme. Think about all the hit songs out there, and you will find the idea of adversity is somewhat common.
Here are lyrics from 14 songs to keep you focused on the next hurdle you might stumble over on your way to the next opportunity:
“Some’ll win, some will lose/Some are born to sing the blues … Don’t stop believin’”
“That that that that don’t kill me can only make me stronger”
“A hundred bad days made a hundred good stories/A hundred good stories makes me interesting at parties”
“You can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won’t back down”
“I’m not gonna give up, I’m not gonna stop/I’m gonna work harder, I’m a survivor”
“If you’re lost and alone or you’re sinking like a stone … carry on”
“I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake/I shake it off, I shake it off”
“If you’re going through hell, keep on going; don’t slow down if you’re scared don’t show it … you might get out before the devil even knows you’re there”
“Let the storm rage on … The cold never bothered me anyway”
“It’s the eye of the tiger/It’s the thrill of the fight/Rising up to the challenge of our rival”
“What doesn’t kill you makes a fighter/Footsteps even lighter”
“Sometimes I get nervous when I see an open door/Close your eyes, clear your heart … cut the cord”
“Say ‘Geronimo’!”
“Pain!/You break me down, you build me up/Believer, believer”
MCKAY DANIELS is NRCA’s CEO.
mdaniels@nrca.net
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